


Into the Castle Basement

by The_Inedible_Croissant



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Slash, eren/levi - Freeform, erenlevi - Freeform, ereri, levi/eren - Freeform, levieren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 18:50:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3260600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Inedible_Croissant/pseuds/The_Inedible_Croissant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Levi venture into the filthy castle basement in an attempt to clean it out. What happens when they end up encountering more than they were prepared for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the Castle Basement

Eren followed Levi down the spiral staircase that led to the castle basement. Today, they were on a mission to see it cleansed of its ineffable taint. As they approached the last of the cobblestone steps, they looked into the sprawling corridors of the lower castle.

"Hey Eren, look at all these big-ass webs," Levi said.

Eren surveyed the area as he entered the room. It was filthy, cobwebs everywhere as if a swarm of spiders had performed a mass fornication in unholy orgy the likes of which the world had never seen. They ventured further into the arachnid-whorehouse that was the castle basement.

There was so much dust, Eren was surprised he was even able to breath in the room at all. He was sure that by this point, he must have transformed into some sort of dust-respirating fish-beast.

"Here, take this and get cleaning." Levi stated, handing him a mop that had not been there in the previous paragraph, as far as he had known.

Eren ran the mop across the floor, turning the floor into a floor that looked similar only slightly less filthy.

As Levi watched Eren sweeping away all the grime, he found himself transfixed by his glorious dust-destroying form, and his tiny Heichou body raised a gigantic donger. Levi knelt down and presented his dustpan to Eren like a male Fringed Ornamental presenting a delicious insect to its chosen mate to impress it into submission. Noticing interest, he presented his immaculate porcelain ass, so pure in form that it accentuated the small amount of light in the room into a radiance like a phosphorescent disco ball attached to a tiny humanoid.

Eren shirked back, momentarily blinded by its radiant, ethereal glory. Immediately hornier than a stag in the rutting season, he shoved his arm elbow-deep into the lance-corporal's vacuum shoot. It felt like reaching into the world's deepest wineglass, matching in both texture and squeakiness. As he scrubbed the glassy intestinal tube, Levi began chortling like a jovial bull walrus attempting to copulate with a small, capsized rowboat while the terrified former occupants swam for their lives.

Eren was suddenly filled with all the determination of a spider trying to climb out of a bathtub where some inconsiderate asshole had just taken a shower, which had made the walls all slippery, much to the spider's discontent. The first thing it was going to do when it escaped that tub was find that asshole and take a big spider shit in their ear.

With his new found determination, Eren embraced his new task to bring out Heichou's inner walrus. Continuing with his ministrations, he suddenly slipped, sending his arm too deep into Levi's inside-out caecilian and the terrible sound of shattering wineglass filled the air.

Eren seized up in pain as the shards of Levi's inner wineglass pierced his flesh, turning his arm into a hand-shaped sea urchin of horror.

A sudden rush enveloped his existence, as if he had just eaten an entire tray of weed brownies that he had found at the back of the fridge, and it spread outwards. He began to expand like a massive dong, the room rapidly growing smaller as he transformed into titan form.

His titan fist burst into existence and Levi instantly exploded, covering the basement walls with bloody chunks of Heichou. The meaty chunks, each of a varying density, created a micro-galaxy of humanity's greatest within the small, filth-encrusted room.

A phantasmal Levi-shaped figure slowly faded in like a bad Windows Movie Maker transition, an equally ghostly mop clutched in his hands. He walked up to the splattered Heichou corpse and began mopping up the bloody mess.

The titan Eren watched the spirit's determination in awe and felt reinvigorated. He would clean up those pesky titans the same way ghost-Levi cleaned up his own corpse.

A single tear formed at the base of his titanic eye. "So... So beautiful..."


End file.
